The decision to have a racing game where half of the players start going the opposite direction on the track so y’all are guaranteed to have a giant clusterfuck crash halfway through is brilliant. Highlights include slightly racist Italian color commentary, a banger soundtrack, and just a stupid amount of fun whacking into other cars. Having played hundreds of terrible N64 racing games in the past two days, Destruction Derby is far and away the most stupid fun I’ve had. Destruction Derby 64 September 1999 Looking Glass Studios THQ $59.99 on Amazon Breaking: game I would’ve bought based on the cover when I was nine actually lives up to the hype. Also in its favor is the lack of RPG experiences available on the Nintendo 64, making Mega Man 64 quite worthwhile if you’re, oh I don’t know, playing every single Nintendo 64 game for some reason. But the charm of Mega Man peeks through every crack, and while the game doesn’t knock you on your ass like Mario 64, it’s a slow burn that grows on you if you let it. This first-wave 3D game was a port of a three year old PlayStation game when it came out, and that’s exactly what it feels like. As other franchises that have been running for decades like Castlevania and Sonic have seen soaring highs and crushing lows, Mega Man’s track record is closer to Metroid and Mario not exactly bulletproof, but a staggering batting average. Mega Man 64 NovemCapcom Production Studio 2 Capcom $102 on Amazon Meanwhile, Blitz remains the closest thing humanity has produced to the Bonestorm game from The Simpsons. The games generally feel like lifeless scrimmages. Other NFL titles from this era that focused on realism instead of murdering people after the whistle don’t have a pulse when revisited today. While not realistic in the slightest, I think these are the best football games on the system. NFL Blitz 2000 AugMidway Midway $54.99 on Amazonīlitz 2000 took Regular Blitz and added some shit (four players, more plays, more ways to give your opponent CTE) and made it a little better.
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